Achaean News
Roast Competition: Calling Those of Sharp Tongue and Wit
Written by: Karl Abyzer, the Great
Date: Monday, September 11th, 2023
Addressed to: Everyone
People of Sapience,
As the esteemed leader of the Uchenny karvan, I extend to you a most cordial and compelling invitation to partake in a contest of linguistic prowess like no other. Behold, a Roast Competition, where words shall be the weapons, and wit shall be the key to triumph.
In this unparalleled event, the art of sharp repartee will be celebrated, and the power of clever banter shall reign supreme. We offer you the opportunity to showcase your linguistic acumen before our discerning audience and that of your peers. Prepare to engage in a battle of verbal brilliance, where the most dexterous tongues shall wield words as deftly as a skilled swordsman brandishes a blade.
TERMS AND RULES:
Your sizzling remarks may be targeted at any adventurer, denizen, city, tribe, or ideology, however, as any slack-jawed ruffian can spew vitriol as fluidly as hot vomit, we are looking for creativity and cleverness behind every roast. As such, in keeping with our tradition, your roast must take the form of a rhyming couplet and should aim to garner laughter... not merely provoke a messy bloodbath... and if the target of your roast is an adventurer, they must be present in order to be given fair chance to return fire.
So, as an example, if I were to Roast my compatriot karvans, I might say:
"The Noktov wander in a dismal fog... you would too if your dead mom was a dog."
"While the Kuyaba wield wind with flair... they prove to be full of only hot air."
You may participate with up to FIVE Roast-couplets (time permitting), delivered one at a time, separated by other participants' Roasts. The participant whose Roast both scorched the competition and shone with brilliance shall be crowned the victor and is sure to garner the respect and awe of their peers!
We eagerly anticipate your presence at this momentous gathering, where words shall dance like flames, illuminating the realm of rhetoric in all its splendor. The event shall take place in just over five months' time, hosted around the bonfire at the Uchenny campsite. We shall evict everyone from our camp after approximately two days... as we can stand the heat for only so long.
We look forward to your presence and an evening of scintillating repartee.
Do not disappoint,
Abyzer Ivssun
Guided by the departed Orski Ivssun
Karl of the Uchenny karvan
Favoured of the Rukhlurd
Penned by my hand on the 9th of Chronos, in the year 926 AF.
Roast Competition: Calling Those of Sharp Tongue and Wit
Written by: Karl Abyzer, the Great
Date: Monday, September 11th, 2023
Addressed to: Everyone
People of Sapience,
As the esteemed leader of the Uchenny karvan, I extend to you a most cordial and compelling invitation to partake in a contest of linguistic prowess like no other. Behold, a Roast Competition, where words shall be the weapons, and wit shall be the key to triumph.
In this unparalleled event, the art of sharp repartee will be celebrated, and the power of clever banter shall reign supreme. We offer you the opportunity to showcase your linguistic acumen before our discerning audience and that of your peers. Prepare to engage in a battle of verbal brilliance, where the most dexterous tongues shall wield words as deftly as a skilled swordsman brandishes a blade.
TERMS AND RULES:
Your sizzling remarks may be targeted at any adventurer, denizen, city, tribe, or ideology, however, as any slack-jawed ruffian can spew vitriol as fluidly as hot vomit, we are looking for creativity and cleverness behind every roast. As such, in keeping with our tradition, your roast must take the form of a rhyming couplet and should aim to garner laughter... not merely provoke a messy bloodbath... and if the target of your roast is an adventurer, they must be present in order to be given fair chance to return fire.
So, as an example, if I were to Roast my compatriot karvans, I might say:
"The Noktov wander in a dismal fog... you would too if your dead mom was a dog."
"While the Kuyaba wield wind with flair... they prove to be full of only hot air."
You may participate with up to FIVE Roast-couplets (time permitting), delivered one at a time, separated by other participants' Roasts. The participant whose Roast both scorched the competition and shone with brilliance shall be crowned the victor and is sure to garner the respect and awe of their peers!
We eagerly anticipate your presence at this momentous gathering, where words shall dance like flames, illuminating the realm of rhetoric in all its splendor. The event shall take place in just over five months' time, hosted around the bonfire at the Uchenny campsite. We shall evict everyone from our camp after approximately two days... as we can stand the heat for only so long.
We look forward to your presence and an evening of scintillating repartee.
Do not disappoint,
Abyzer Ivssun
Guided by the departed Orski Ivssun
Karl of the Uchenny karvan
Favoured of the Rukhlurd
Penned by my hand on the 9th of Chronos, in the year 926 AF.