K, my latest poetic contribution to society. I like this one. Kind of long, but I was bored. I dedicate this poem to Taranis, and his secret love for me.

I was walking along the beach one day
When I saw something that blew me away
It was incredible, exciting and grand!
A dirty old bottle lying there in the sand

I wondered what this dirty old bottle might hold
A message, a genie, perhaps even gold
Maybe it was filled with tequila or beer
Oh, who in their right mind would leave that stuff here?

I snatched up the bottle and squealed with delight
Till I saw that the bottle was corked up tight
I pushed it and pulled it without any luck
I tried and I tried but that cork remained stuck

I got so mad that I think I saw green
I jumped up in anger and yelled something obscene
In my fury I could hardly walk
I took that old bottle and smashed it on a rock

In the air there arose a big poof of blue mist
I was so afraid, in my pants I almost pissed
A genie appeared, about 500 times the size of a mouse
"You idiot!" he screamed, "You've ruined my house!"

"You're supposed to rub it," the genie said
Then he frowned and thwapped my head
"For this you must be punished, as seen fit by me
I shall grant you only one wish, instead of three."

I frowned at this, but then thought, 'So?
One is more than I had 5 minutes ago'
At which point I said in a thoughtful voice
"Choosing a wish is a very hard choice."

There are so many things for which I could wish
I could fly like a bird or become a goldfish
I just sat there pondering and dreaming away
Till the genie tapped his foot and said "I haven't got all day!"

Then in my mind, my wish was unfurled
I wanted a turkey more than anything in the world
"I wish for a turkey!" I told the genie
"Your wish for a turkey," he said, "I grant unto thee!"

In a puff of smoke, he appeared before me
A beautiful, wonderful, giant turkey
But something was wrong, he was missing his head
"Oh good lord!" I cried out. "This turkey is dead!"

"What did you expect?" asked the genie as I mourned my loss
"He is toasted golden brown, and has cranberry sauce!"
"Make him alive!" I whined, "I wanted a pet!"
"You wrecked my house," said the genie, "so this is the best you'll get!"

Then the genie jumped up, and few out of sight
There was nothing else to do, so I took a bite
The turkey turned out to be surprisingly good
And I finished him up as fast as I could

But let this be a lesson to people who find dirty old things
Please try not to smash them, for trouble they can bring
And if you ever make a wish, be sure to make it clear
Or your wish may end up as dinner, like my turkey did here.

Thank you, thank you. I love you all.
<(x)>

Penned by my hand on the 2nd of Lupar, in the year 243 AF.