'Ellllooo Achaeans,

My poem tonight is a tribute to Logosmass, everyone's favorite holiday,
and season. Everyone that is, except the Gijinch! Our story begins way
back in the day (And thus no longer reflects the views of anyone that may
appear in the story) on Logosmass...Enjoy!

How The Gijinch Stole Logosmass

Every Theran down in Thera liked Logosmass a lot...
But the Gijinch, who lived just North of Therea (Pun intended) did NOT!
The Gijinch Hated Logosmass!
The Whole Logosmass Season!
Yet noone could quite, figure out the reason.
They often asked why...
Perhaps it was that his alighnment, was a tad bit too high,
Or maybe it was that he never had enough Kai,
But _I_ think, the biggest reason of all,
Is that his brass knuckles that he got for Logosmass as a child,
Were TWO sizes too small!

But whatever the reason, His Knuckles or Kai,
He stood there on Logoasmass, wishing it goodbye.
Staring from Ashtan with a sour, Gijinchy frown,
he sat there wishing, he could burn down that town.

"The smith was even forging new shoes for his horses!!" he snarled with a sneer,
"Oh all the gifts! Tomorrow is Logoasmass! It's practically here!"
Then he scowled a Gijinchy scowl, fingers nervously drumming,
"I MUST find some way to stop Logosmass from coming!"
For, tomorrow he knew...All the Theran girls, (Horses), and boys,
Would brag about all their newfound joys!

Then all the Therans would sit down to a feast.
And oh how they'd feast! And they'd FEAST! FEAST! FEAST! FEAST!
They would feast on Lemon Pies, and rare cooked crypt-beast!
Which was something the Gijinch couldn't stand in the least!
And THEN They'd do something He liked least of all!
Every Theran down in Thera, (Even the town drunk paul),
Would join hand in hand,
and stand up their logosmass tree, big n' tall...
And SING! SING! SING! SING!
But oh the Logosmass tree...how he hated that thing.

And the more he thought about them holding hands in that big ugly ring,
The more the Gijinch thought, "I must stop this whole thing!"
"Why, for eighty-three years I've put up with it now!"
"Logosmass must be stopped...But HOW?"
Then he got an idea! An awful idea!
THE GIJINCH GOT A WONDERFULLY, AWFUL IDEA!

I know just what to do, to make them cry and gloat!
And he fled to the Central market, to buy a Logosmass hat,
and a Logosmass coat...
"Now All I need is a Logosmass moose!..." And, the Gijinch looked around.
But, since Logosmass moose are only on Ulangi, there was none to be found.
He soon grabbed his gear, and went out too look,
But when he found one, it soon became obvious,
Logosmoose are unaffected by a simple hook.
But do you think that stopped the old Gijinch...? No...not in his Gijinchish head!
"I know just what I'll do" The Gijinch said, "I'll make one instead!"
So he fetched his buddy Tranquility, And using some thread,
He tied some stags horn to the top of Tranq's head.
Then he piled himself, along with some fine leather packs and an old empty sack,
Onto poor Tranquility's back!

Then the Gijinch said, "Giddap!" And Tranquility started toward the homes,
Where the Therans Lay a-snooze,
Most of them still fast asleep from their booze.
"This is stop number one," The Gijinch hissed,
And he busted down the door, with a big clenched fist.
Then he climbed through his hand hole, A rather tight pinch,
But (With sewers), this narrow entrance, was nothing more than a sinch...
For the sly ol' Gijinch.
When he got through the door, he kicked down the tree,
And he stuffed the Theran's in bags, and only had to knock out two or three,
Then the Gijinch, as calm as could be,
Crammed all the bags through the doors to Tranquility,
what happened to them next, you didn't want to see (*Wince*)

hen he slunk to the Crystal leaf, And he took Theras' feast!
He took the Baker's rolls! He took the crypt-beast!
He cleaned out that inn as quick as a flash,
And made sure to turn the inn into trash.
"Now said the Gijinch!" To burn that dratted tree!
And the Gijinch grabbed that big ol' tree and lit up his torch,
But he heard a small sound, as groggy as could be,
The gijinch had been caught, by none other than me!
I'd got out of bed for another flute of champagne,
when I heard the screams, of someone in pain.
I stared at the Gijinch and started to cry
Why are you torching our Logosmass tree? WHY?

But, you know, that old Gijinch was so smart and so slick,
He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!
"Why, my foolish young idiot," the Gijinch cried,
I'm gonna torch this poor tree, because theres a squirrel on one side...
The Gijinch Lied "And it just bit me."

And his fib fooled the fool. Then he clocked me in the head,
He was however, so kind as to carry me to bed,
Then he burnt the tree up, and laughed at its branches,
All of them dead.

It was quarter past dawn...All the Therans who weren't sacked,
still lie in bed, only a few of which had a broken back,
All the other Therans struggled to get out of their sacks,
While Tranquility and the Gijinch carried them up to the Vashnars on their backs!


"I pitty the Therans!" he was Gijinchishly humming.
"They're finding out now that no Logosmass is coming!"
"They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do!"
Their mouths will hang open a minute or two,
"Then the mayor down in Thera will cry Boo-Hoo!"
That's a noise," grinned the Gijinch, "That I simply MUST hear...Its so NEW!

So he paused. And the Gijinch put his hand to his ear.
And he did hear a sound rising over the snow. It started in low.
Then it started to grow...
But the sound wasn't Sad...The mayor wasn't crying...he sounded MERRY!
It couldn't be so! But it WAS merry! VERY!
He stared down at Thera! The Gijinch popped his eyes!
Then he shook! What he saw was a shocking surprise!
The surviving Therans came out, on a walker or a cane!
AFter that attack, the Gijinch thought, they must be insane!
They were singing...singing about Logosmass.
The GALL!
He hadn't stopped Logosmass at all!

And the Gijinch stood next to Tranquility in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?"
It came with busted backs!...
It came with bloody noses!
Even smashed fingers and toses!

And he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Gijinch thought of something he hadn't before!
Maybe Logosmass wasn't such a bore!
His high alignment was lowered by the night's rampage,
And his Kai was just right for his age,
And his tiny brass knuckles didn't bother him anymore!

And what happened then...? Well...in Thera they say,
The Blacksmith climbed up the vashnars, quite a long way,
and forged the Gijinch's brass knuckles three sizes larger that day!
And the minute his fists didn't feel quite so tight,
The Gijinch whizzed with his captives through the bright morning light,
And he brought back the citizens! And the food for the feast! And he...
w
THE GIJINCH HIMSELF...!
Hunted down a plump new crypt beast!

The End

Yours Truly, Dr. Gladeuss.

Merry Logosmass everyone!

Penned by my hand on the 24th of Glacian, in the year 265 AF.