Welcome to the House,
Of Strange and Random Junk,
You can be a Jester,
Or You can Be a Monk.

For your first good old test,
you must break into silly dance,
and walk to Shallam and Hashan,
in your underpants.

Clothes are not required,
do not spend your money,
but if you wear a suit,
it has to be a bunny.

You must pay a tribute
to Chryseas, master cook,
and if you break a rule,
you hit yourself with a book.

There is no foul language,
or saying the word implied,
don't worry about our safety,
only six hundred people died.

You're not allowed to marry,
unless it's to a cake,
and it is a cruel murder,
if you put it in to bake.

If you have young children,
for you there is no hope,
our house has a strict rule,
that you tie them up with rope.

Call the head the lord and master,
and you must wash their feet,
and give them lots of backrubs,
or you won't get to eat.

Some people go missing,
don't ask, I'm warning you,
should you question that,
you'll go missing too.

If you leave the house,
you'll be forced to drown
then your family will be killed,
and your friends get hunted down.

Stare at the leader's chest,
you'll lose both your eyes,
make a stupid joke,
no one will hear your cries.

Don't be so nervous,
you won't end up dead,
we'll just string you high,
and beat you up instead.

Welcome to the House
of Strange and Random Junk,
hey where are you going,
god my advertisement stunk...





Penned by my hand on the 10th of Glacian, in the year 601 AF.