The top five jokes from the Year 300 competition are as follows:

#1: Jarik's Joke
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One day, in the near future, Sarapis summons one person from every city
to his temple (save for Cyrene becauses they are too secluded and don't
actively participate in the city wars).

Sarapis says, "I will grant each of you one wish to make your city
greater in some way. However, you may not ask to directly 'dominate' or
'obliterate' the world, nothing along those lines."

Aringar, the Hashanite, says, "Well, I would like a personal bashing
area in Hashan. I mean it is very annoying having all those novice
bashers in the way."

Sarapis says, "I can feel for that, sure."

Charlotte, the Shallamite says, "Yes, I'd like for Ashtan to receive a
personal corpse generator, so they can stop using us."

Sarapis chuckles, and nods his head sagely.

Shakti, the Ashtanite, whispers something to Sarapis and a white light
shoots down to Shallam's heart, and a small thud is heard, but nothing
happens. Sarapis disperses the group and Charlotte immediately rushes
off to see what it was. All of a sudden, a huge explosion comes and all
of Shallam is destroyed.

Later, Deven asks Shakti what she said to Sarapis, and Shakti replies,
"I told him to put a chest saying do not touch in Shallam."

#2 Shakti's Joke
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An intrepid adventurer is roaming around in Azdun when suddenly he is
surrounded by goblins. He attempts to flee but is soon cornered, and
decides that he is doomed and to accept his fate.

When suddenly, a voice from above resonates, "Not yet! Slay their
leader!" With cat-like reflexes, the adventurer leaps forward and kills
said leader. And the soul of Calhoun says, "Ok, that is so overpowered."

#3 Deonymus' Joke
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Whilst adventuring in Azdun one day, Sun came upon a zombie that had
wandered away from it's guard post. "Look at meeee!", it said, a piece
of lip falling to the floor as it spoke.

Sun stared at it, and said, "Ha! You don't scare me! I am the
bravestest, bestest in the realms!" And proceeded to newbie-kick it to
death.

Later, she came upon a vampire, who howled at her frighteningly, "I
shall suck your blooood!" "Ha!", Sun replied, "I fear nothing! I have
the immortal Violet here, and she is so amazing we call her
'Ultra-Violet!" and pointed Violet at the vampire, who screamed and
crumbled to dust.

Exploring further, she came upon a huge mirror in a large empty room.
Gazing into the mist, she screamed at the vile vision before her, and
ran in fear out of the dungeon, colliding with a young Infernal at the
top of the well. "Don't go in there! I tried, but that apparition in the
mirror was too hideous for me to stand!" The Infernal novice scratched
his head at Sun fled as far away from the Dungeon as she could, "But...
I thought I just let Glomshaul out?" he said, staring at a small red
mallet in his hands.

#4 Loak's Joke
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Two friends, Nylo and Jereo, were inseperable. Nylo was extremely
compassionate, and everyone liked him. Jereo, however, was eternally
getting info mischief, and did not get along with anyone other than
Nylo.

One day one of Jereo's escapades offended the Logos himself, and Sarapis
turned Jereo into a shrub.

Nylo went to visit his friend every week, but always left before the end
of the day.

One day Jereo commented on this, and asked why Nylo never stayed the
night. Nylo replyed "I was
worried you, being a shrub, wouldn't have any food suitable for me, and
I didn't want to complain."

The shrub named Jereo replied "don't worry, I can rustle up some grub!

#5 Tamriel's Joke
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One day during an especially grueling training session, de druid teacher got mad at his student and yelled at him for his inability to pay attention. After de teacher finished his rant he stormed out. De student who was in tears, danks to de threats made by de teacher, went to seek solace in his friend, an older druid. De older druid friend, in response to poor little druid, says "Dont worry me lil druid, dat teacher is transcendent in groves but only gifted in metamorphosis, so his "bark" is worse den his "bite."


Penned by my hand on the 12th of Valnuary, in the year 300 AF.