Rejoice Achaeans for on this day, I have decided to reestablish My Divine
Order. I have heard the cries of the multitude and once more I provide the way
to salvation and redemption from this world of Evil, War and "Light."

Think carefully 'ere you decide to seek out My patronship, for I do not
solicit followers. Indeed, even if you meet the standards for becoming a
"petitioner" as you will be known within the Order, your quest will not be
complete for you will find yourself subject to a rigid hierarchy in which the
good of the Order and Darkness is above all else...

If you are simple-minded, lack initiative, lack intelligence, or lack common
sense, do not attempt to join My Order, for I'll not have you. My Order is one
of the oldest and most established of all the Divine Orders, and you will have
a tradition to uphold... As well as many commandments to follow... Thus, if
you do not like rules, go look elsewhere for patronship.

Regards,
the Dark Lord

Penned by my hand on the 3rd of Lupar, in the year 277 AF.