As I was walking through the tranquil forest, not too long ago actually,
I came upon a small clearing, not marked by any druid. This clearing was
bare of anything except some short grass, and a large, round, smooth grey
rock.

Being a mite hungry, I pulled out a wedge of cheese, sat down on the
rock, and proceeded to slice it in to wafer thin slices. While nibbling on my
cheese, I noticed a small patch of mushrooms growing right beside the rock.
As I was still hungry, I bent down to pick a few. Right as I was about to
grab one of them, a thought hit me like a thunderbolt.

Was it right to selfishly indulge in these succulent, innocent fungi?
There was no way for them to protect themselves. They were just sitting
there, doing no harm to anyone at all. In fact, it was just plain evil to take
them. I had more than enough cheese in my backpack, not to mention that
shot of Tequila I was saving...

Anyhow, this got me to thinking. What is "evil"? Is it like the Infernal's
views on weakness? Is it like the church's utter disregard for others when
they place their shrines? Or is "evil" something completely different?

I decided that "evil" falls into that last category. I thought about the
definition of evil, taking into account all that I have learned, be it from
books (yes, I can read!) or personal experience. Here's what I came up with:

EVIL: When one puts one's self above all other things.

If this is true, then the definition of "good" would be:

GOOD: When one puts all other things above one's self.

See? They're opposites! Pretty clever, eh?

Knowing this, I was able to ponder further on the topic. Through careful
consideration, I found that some, who profess to be "good", are really quite
"evil". On the other hand, some of those who say they are "evil" are actually
quite "good" .

As an example: The god formerly known as Decalion, God of Justice, has
decided that he is too good to be "good" anymore. To me, this move stinks
of "evil". Even though he is a god, he needs to think about all of those people
that depended upon his divine guidance. Instead, he had to be selfish (and
therefore "evil") and just abandon everything he stood for.

Also along these lines, but not quite as bad, are those whose goal is to
"purge the weakness out of the world". Everyone else thinks that they are
"evil", but they are really trying, in their own way, to do "good".

I know what all of you who have managed to read this far are thinking:
"What in bloody 'ell is 'ee talkin' about?" Well, to be truly honest, I am
thinking that same exact thing right about now. Being sleepy, and out of
cheese, I decided that it was about time to wander back in the direction
that I came from.

As I was about to leave the clearing, I took a second look at those
tempting little mushrooms. It even seemed as if they were winking
seductively at me! On closer inspection, I found quite a few of them to
be a little on the sickly side. That changed everything! By picking them, I
would be removing a menace to the little forest creatures, who might not
be able to survive an encounter with the mushrooms. Picking the mushrooms
would actually be "good"! I bet you can guess what I did...

After brushing the remains of the mushrooms off my pack, I set off
towards home. On the walk home, I deduced the definition of "neutral.
Here it is:

NEUTRAL: When one doesn't give a damn (but likes jelly beans!)

Blessed be those who hide under the grey mantle of neutrality. (and like
jelly beans!)

Apprentice Druid Dagu, the Shaggy One (who likes jelly beans!)


Penned by my hand on the 6th of Glacian, in the year 231 AF.