Dear Grandue Xeh'ria,

Your application to join the soldiers of Evil has been declined. We feel the need to send this response to you because it has become apparent that the numerous instances of murder, maggoting, assassination, and horrible death delivered via Divine Fire have not been enough to penetrate the obstinate thickness of your skull.

Allow us to be frank. Your desperate need for attention is not impressing us, nor is it garnering the type of public adoration you seem to crave. The last word is not always the best one despite what you seem to adamantly maintain, and thus will this correspondence be the last acknowledgement from His mortal followers that you will receive.

We understand that this rejection may be upsetting you, so allow yourself a bit of time to process the news before you project your next terribly verbose response to the realms at large. His Seven Truths will be here for you as you navigate the numerous pitfalls of grief, anger, denial, and eventual acceptance that may arise from your failed attempts to join our ranks.

The last bit of advice we will give you before we send you on your merry way is this: stop while you're behind. Your unrelenting need to be the centre of attention has long-since shifted from vaguely amusing to acutely embarrassing. Conduct yourself accordingly.

In Service,
Eoka Nithilar, Warden of the Red Isle


Penned by my hand on the 13th of Aeguary, in the year 893 AF.