Hello friends, family, former lovers and future lovers.

I have great news! In light of recent events a new organization has been formed, The Guardians of the Guardians of Moghedu!

You see for years, mortal kind has been plagued by a genocidal group determined to wipe our a large group of people. Thats right, you know them as the Guardians of Moghedu. They seek to ruin and destroy all that is good (and maybe Good) in this world. They have been known to taint the innocent and violate the weak and today TGOTGOM will not stand for this anymore!

We are seeking able-bodied members to rid the world of this scourge that bring nothing but pain and death to women and children all over. United, we can stop their menacing attacks on purity and restore peace and order to this land! If you wish to join us, please send me an application along with 1 golden sovereign (so I know you mean business) and I shall consider you. Please include the following:

Tell me where you were violated by a member of the Guardians of Moghedu
Tell me what you can do to help us combat them
Tell me how much monies you have
Tell me if you have ever kidnapped a child before

Upon entry of your application, we will go through a rigourous process to determine if YOU have what it takes. Apply now!

-Jones

Penned by my hand on the 6th of Scarlatan, in the year 861 AF.