I, Jonesey, have not died yet.

That being said, I would love a Premorial service held for me, Jonesey Corder-Sarvet, so that my fans may fawn over me and my accomplishments.

Who solved all of Sapiences problems with an advice column?

Who fed million of hungry beings peeled bananas?

Who told jokes that made you laugh?

Who told stories that made you cry?

Who sang songs that made you cringe?

Yes, Jonesey did.

All that would like to attend are welcome to come pay their respects. I will also extend an invitation to all my haters so they can mourn the possibility that one day they will have to replace their self loathing with a new target to hate.

Please join us as we remember that one day Jonesey might die. Maybe. Probably not.

It it requested that those in attendance please fight all the ugly people, this is a cutie party only.

Regards,
Jonesey Sar'vet Corder

P.S.: Also no affiliations with the Excidium.



Penned by my hand on the 10th of Daedalan, in the year 847 AF.