dun da da dun, dah dun da da daaaaaaaaaa

Fanfare is appropriate for a king ya know? Tis I, Jonesey the Great with another edition of Dear Jonesey where I solve all the problems that plague my constituants.



Dear Jonesey,

Why is the world a circle, yet every time I look around it seems like everything is flat?


Dear unsigned person,

Step 1, sign your letters

Onwards shall we?

Maps are flat, circles are flat, therefore everything is flat.
What is the question?





NEXT!!!!!!!



Dear Jonesey-wonesy,

How do I wear eyeliner?

Love,
Kohl envier


Dear Kohl envier,

You put the eyeliner on your skin and you do as you told, you do as you're told so you don't get the hose.

Also there are professionals whose services include a total makeover. If you do not know how to wear eyeliner, chances are you do not know how to wear perfume and wear granny panties. Get your whole style fixed with a consultant

(P.S. selling FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABULOUS fashion consulting services)





NEXT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Dear Jonesey,

What is the best way to exterminating two legged, talking roses?

---I HATE ROSES----

NEXT!!!


Dear ---I HATE ROSES----,


It is quite simple, have an affair with Morzakai. A rose withers away with a broken heart.

Also I hear acid doesn't help them either, try an acid attack.



Thanks everyone for your questions, I cannot write this column without you people. Please remember to sign your letters and include at least 2 gold so I know that you mean serious business.

Penned by my hand on the 22nd of Chronos, in the year 806 AF.