Who am I?

At first, it was just a nagging doubt
Something I could live without
But the more I search, and the harder I try
I finally realize I am living a lie
I used to care, used to know
I used to have ambitions to show
But that part of me is mostly gone
The life I used to have is beginning to wan
I am no longer alive, but instead
I feel as if I am half-dead
I need to hang on, for others
As for myself, under the blanket of sadness I smother
Standing here, the knife blade poised above my skin
Feeling no longer the weight of my sin
I make the cuts, the only thing that keeps me breathing
Underneath the surface, the pain is seething
For an instant, as the blood seeps through
And the stinging revives me too
I feel almost happy again, whole
The light is flickering in my soul
My eyes burn with the tears that will not come
Even though they would be more than welcome
Then I see myself from the outside
The thoughts in my head that I can no longer hide
I begin to feel sick, and weak
So close, yet so far away, from the death I seek
As a single tear slides down my face
I want to stay forever inside this moment in space
For the first time, I know the answer to my question
I am no one
And Time marches on

Penned by my hand on the 2nd of Chronos, in the year 279 AF.