Thanks Lemon for the Inspiration of this Post.

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SALE! SALE! SALE!

Buy your all inclusive
Never ever elusive
But very Abusive
And Very EXCLUSIVE
Churchy Fertiliser Machine!
For just 9.99!

A snip at 9.99 . . . 9.99 for it all
From your Local Basilica!
It will make weeds fall
As it only helps flowers
Who are wanted by all
And your flowers will grow
Quickly up the garden wall!

Buy your all inclusive
Never ever elusive
But very Abusive
And Very EXCLUSIVE
Churchy Fertiliser Machine!
For just 9.99!

Just Plant your Priest
In the required place
Preferable by their feet
Ask them their opinion
On Evil, Chaos and hate
And watch your flowers grow
At a lightning fast rate!

Buy your all inclusive
Never ever elusive
But very Abusive
And Very EXCLUSIVE
Churchy Fertiliser Machine!
For just 9.99!

Righteous Bullshit is all you need
For an excellent plant and flower feed!

(only if stocks last)

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SPECIAL OFFER! SPECIAL OFFER!

Ever wanted to get rid of those annoying weeds?
You know the ones, they ruin the view of the Garden Shell we (The Church) have created and placed you in
Weeds just don't fit in with your idea of what it should look like do they . . . Well do they?
We Don't think they do! And Trust us . . . we know what were talking about.
Our People in the Church have invented the best protection against these reality's of life . . . The P.G.D.M!
Buy your very own protector of your garden for the LOW LOW price of just 99.99!
For a short time ONLY you can have your very own Paladin Garden Protection Machine.
To protect your garden against all those ugly wild flowers and plants, that keep on growing were you don't want them to!.
He or she, will kill anything that doesn't fit in with your fairytale perspective of the reality that is the Garden you live in.
Anything Natural, Different or Unique, he or she, will kill . . . and all this for just 99.99!
Bargain!
So Hurry up and get down to the Basilica NOW, were every one is looking to help YOU!
(Not applicable to any one who we (The Church) haven't brain washed yet)

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(the small type)
Copyright of the Church, and remember if you do perches any of these items they come with a life time guarantee and contract. If you brake the contract your life shall forever be declared as being forfit to us as we can no long use and manipulate you anymore. Pleas bare this in mined when you Perches for as soon as you do anything for us, you have sold your soul to us and you will forever become nothing moor than pathetic little playthings that we shall discard when we see fit.

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All you have to do is sign
On the Holy Dotted line . . .




Penned by my hand on the 21st of Sarapin, in the year 273 AF.