Hark! the Orphan Hark
Stronger than his brother Mark
Was born behind the park
And wages war against the dark
Fiercer than a shark
He throws his discus in an arc
Into the evil Clark
Hark! the Orphan Hark

Hark! the Orphan Hark
Was raised on cans of uncooked beans
And plates of leafy greens
Until he reached his early teens
Then he found the means
By painting splendid wedding scenes
To build his great machines
Hark! the Orphan Hark

Hark! the Orphan Hark
Manufactured weapon parts
And special poisoned darts
Then shipped them off in giant carts
Trained in martial arts
He fought the economic charts
And struck fear in their hearts
Hark! the Orphan Hark

Hark! the Orphan Hark
Was no ordinary man
Six foot eight and tan
He started a prestigious clan
Made a clever plan
Which enabled him to ban
Businesses Clark ran
Hark! the Orphan Hark

Hark! the Orphan Hark
Good and pure in every way
Frequently he'd pray
Once at night and twice a day
Even now they say
From the light he'd never stray
He made the darkness pay
Hark! the Orphan Hark

Hark! the Orphan Hark
Won most every free-for-all
Then he heard the call
To end Clark's sins once and for all
Broke in through the wall
Of the enemy guildhall
With trusty sidekick Paul
Hark! the Orphan Hark

Hark! the Orphan Hark
Bet it all on just one fight
Championed the light
For all that's true and all that's right
Wearing garments bright
He was a truly fearsome sight
But Clark was great in might
Hark! the Orphan Hark

Hark! the Orphan Hark
Threw his discus at Clark's head
And even as he bled
He knew his enemy was dead
Fixed his wounds with thread
As on irid moss he fed
He spent a week in bed
Hark! the Orphan Hark

Hark! the Orphan Hark
Sent Paul out to search for men
Bravest of their kin
To help him battle future sin
They vanished near a glen
Because they were not needed then
But they'll be back again
Hark! the Orphan Hark


Vera and Elena
this poetry not reflective of personal beliefs, state of intoxication, or snack preference

Penned by my hand on the 13th of Lupar, in the year 269 AF.