Okay, just to clarify a bit to those who overlook Rumtuggle's title, he is the SPAWN of Unnamable Horror, meaning that he, himself is the child of the Unnamable Horror. I, myself, thought that Rumtuggle was without a name till one day we sat down to have tea. In this very revealing conversation, he told me his name. Rumtuggle, i'm going to attempt to write this poem just for you! (or about you, whichever comes first)

Rumtuggle, The Misunderstood Spawn of Unnamable Horror
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Rum, rum, rumtuggle, How do you do?
"I do not good, my friend, i do not good,
Say there Rumtuggle, why do you not good?
"All these little kiddies make for very good food!"

Rum, rum, rumtuggle, How are you at fault?
"I get bad indigestion, and i think i'm gonna..."
Ffffrrraaaaaaaarrtttt
"I... think i hadda accident..."

Rum, rum, Rumtuggle, do not pout!
"I really am sorry! I hadda let it out!"
Shew, Rumtuggle, that really does reek!
"It musta been that jam from those kid's little feet..."

Rum, rum, Rumtuggle, Come meet a friend of mine!
"A friend? A friend? How could you be so kind?"
She's a little ugly, and a little stinky, too
But maybe she'll make, a real good match for you!

Rum, rum, rumtuggle, Meet my friend of mine!
"She's the most beautiful thing, i think i'll ever find!"
Excuse me while i retch a bit, this stench is quite too strong
Bianca, Rummy, i hope you're worth this song

Rum, rum, rumtuggle, treat her with respect.
"Why i think this is the greatest thing to happen, yet!"
Bianca is a perfect match, for you i think it is...
I hope things don't go as far as you two to... kiss!

<-----Setting Rumtuggle and Bianca up, Malak Galthana----->

Penned by my hand on the 1st of Glacian, in the year 249 AF.