Its taken many a labourious hours of hard work and elbow greese, but
I've finally got around to finishing my Latest work. I think you'll
all (Except Kei) enjoy "The Ithmia Trees and Surrounding Weeds" By
Dr. Gladeuss. Enjoy!

Deep in the Ithmia some people say
If you look deep enough you can still see today,
Where the forest was ruined
And exterminated away.

Why you may ask?

Well at the far far far end of Thera
Where the Ithmia grows
And the wind carries fish mongrols' voices' when it blows
And no birds ever sing excepting old crows...
Sits ol' Morlana, still wigglin' her toes.
Ask her. SHE knows.

Sit down with her, have a little chat

I'll tell you," she says while petting her chimera, old and fat
How the Ithmia was exterminated...Glade's grove and his lair
It all started way back...
Such a long, long time back...

Way back in the days when the azdun was still filled with undead
And the Oak Forest Glade was still wet, and squirrels well fed
And the clouds were still white,
And the song of the fish mongrols rang out in space...
One morning, I came to this glorious place.
And I first saw that forestal Grove!
And the forest, which served as the herbs' cove!
And most of all, the deep green Ithmia Trees!
Mile after mile in the fresh morning breeze!

And, under the trees, I saw Dryads galore
Frolicking about with that irresistible lure
As they played in the shade of the Ithmia trees.

From the oak forest glade
Came the comfortable sound
Of the tengus humming
While hovering around.

But those TREES! Those TREES!
THOSE Ithmia TREES!
All my life I'd been searching
For trees such as these!
The touch of their trunks
Smoother than a vampire fang.
And they had the sweet smell
Of sweet bee honey, from the hives where they hang

I felt a great leaping
Of joy in my heart, and the ones I had recently eaten,
I knew just what I'd do!
I'd unloaded my luggage and tame this damned zoo

In no time at all, I had everything ready
My gremlin was so excited, he started to hop!
Then I began to kill some plants
And I cackled when I saw the ginseng drop

But the instant I was going to make some kola go splat...
-BUMP!-
I looked.
I saw something wearing a strange little hat
It was a funny little man.
Describe him?...That's hard. I don't know if I can.

He was messy-haired and frazzled
And he spoke in a voice that was comical yet bossy.
And I assumed he had been harvesting...for his hair was all mossy!

"Mam!" he said with a stern tone in his voice
"I am Glade. I speak for the weeds n' trees,
They do not like to be turned into dead seeds!
And I'm asking you dearly at the top of my lungs"-
He was very upset as he shouted and puffed-
What do you think you're doing to that ginseng and stuff!??!?!?!

"Look Glade," I said. "There's no cause for alarm.
I fried just one herb. I am doing no harm.
They only get eaten anyway, it's not like some privately owned farm."

Glade cried,
"MAM! You are crazy in the head!
There are plenty in Sapience,
That would die for that ginseng, had _IT_ not been dead!"

I repeat," cried Glade,
"I speak for the trees n' weeds!
And I take it you aren't one big on good deeds?"

"I'm busy," I told him.
Shut up, if you please.

I rushed 'cross the room, and in no time at all,
I shouted to all that wished to join me, to come watch the herbs fall
I called all my brothers and uncles and aunts
and I shouted, "Listen here! Here's a wonderful chance
to exterminate the Ithmia of plants!
Get over here fast! Take the highway to NoT
And don't let Glade bother you, he is but a pesky flea"

And, in no time at all,
The whole Family
Was working full tilt.
We were all killing trees
As busy as bees
And exterminating all those pesky weeds!

Then...
Oh! Baby! Oh!
How my ego did grow!
Now, exterminating just one place...
That was too slow!
I had to find out, how to pick up the pace!

So I quickly invented my Super-Orb-Hacker
'Twas my Chaos orb, killing Ithmia Trees!
And he was noooooo slacker!
We were killing the forest

Four times as fast as before!
And that Glade?...
HE didn't show up any more.

But the next week
He knocked on my log cabin door,

He snapped, "I'm the Glade who speaks for the trees n' weeds
Which you seem to be frying as fast as you please
But I'm ALSO in charge of the Tengus and Dryads
Who happily lived, until you cut down their home and gave them the sads!"

"NOW... thanks to your exterminating my weeds to the ground
There's not nearly enough herbs to go 'round.
And that poor Boorabee, is getting all crummy
because he has, no food in his tiny tummy"

"They loved living here. But I can't let them stay.
They'll have to find food. And I hope that they may.
good luck, boys," he cried. And sent them away.

I, Morlana, felt sad
As I watched them all go.
BUT...
Business is business!
And the herbs must go!
Regardless of crummies in tummies, you know.

Then AGAIN he came back! I was killing some kola,
when the old-nuisance Glade came back with MORE crapola!

"I am Glade," he tried to protest
"Morlana! Lookit the herbs you've fried!
Morlana! You're making a terrible mess!"

And then I got mad.
I got terribly mad.
I yelled at Glade, "Now listen here, lad!
All you do is yap-yap and say, 'Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!
Well, I have rights, sir, and I'm telling YOU
I intend to go on doing just what I do!
And, for your information, Glade, I'm figgering
On biggering
And Biggering
And BIGGERING
AND BIGGERING,
Killing MORE Ithmia Trees
AND the herbs which everyone, Everyone, EVERYONE needs!"

And at that very moment, we heard a loud crack!
From out in the fields came a sickening smack
Of a chaos orb and a tree. Then we heard the tree fall.
The very last Ithmia Tree of them all!

No more trees. No more weeds. No more work to be done
So, in no time, my uncles and aunts, every one,
all waved good-bye. They jumped onto their chimeras
And rode away figuring they'd got every plant, weed, and finished off Glade

Now all that was left 'neath the burnt up plants
Was the smoldering place where the Oak Forest Glade once laid
and I.
And Glade...

Glade said nothing. Just gave me a glance...
Just gave me a very sad, sad, backward glance...
As he lifted himself and the brim of his hat.
And I'll never forget the grim look on his face
When he heisted himself and took leave of this place...

And all that Glade left here in this mess
was a small pile of rocks, with one word...
UNLESS.
Whatever THAT meant, well I just couldn't guess

Suddenly Blue Fire Crackled Across the sky
And I was turned into...
An icky goo...
By lighting...
Oh so Blue
And while praying to Sarapis...all I could hear, was Glade and Gaia Laughing,
"Hehe! Haha! Whoo hoo hoo hooo!
I wouldn't advise coming back next year!

THE END

I hope you all enjoyed the longest of the Dr. Gladeuss poems. And so I
don't get smacked around a good deal by the Occultists, yes, I had premission to
use Morlana as the evil-exterminator. Also, for the record, this story is not
true or anything close to the truth. Actually, following the general rule of thumb, if
its written by Glade, don't take it seriously.

Yours Truly, Glade "Ithmia Tree" Ceadanach
quit
heh...whoops. Long time since i did that.

Penned by my hand on the 14th of Aeguary, in the year 249 AF.