I stand before you today, victorious over the evil credit card processors,
who persecuted us due to mistakes entirely their fault. After much struggle, and much paperwork, and much money (which we may or may not get back from them either voluntarily or via a lawsuit), we can accept credit cards again. Believe me when I say that _no one_ is happier about this than me!

Penned by my hand on the 11th of Valnuary, in the year 232 AF.