Well, I've been watching 3 Magi guilds mysteriously appear, and a
third serpent guild arrive recently, so I figure its only a matter
of time until we get ourselves another knight guild. Being a knight,
and working for cheap (Free, to be exact) I figure I'm the perfect
person to serve as guildmaster for any potential knight guild. Plus,
I'm morally ambiguous to the point where it doesn't matter *what*
the guild is dedicated to, I can go with that. Plus, I bring Achaea's
most famous ale-delivering falcon, and the entire cast of Delos's
cult classic "The Mr. Javilin show" with me.
More than that, I'm experienced at the whole knight biz. I mean, you
gotta go back pretty far to find a time when I wasn't a knight, like
back when I was a newbie, and Mistral took me buffalo bashing (It
shaped my entire Achaean experience, for what is a moose if not a
tasty version of the buffalo?) or back when I could punch and kick
rats *while graced* to make easy money. But my mispent newbiehood
aside, theres also my mispent adulthood to consider, not to mention
my mispent twilight years. I'm experienced at all the knightly arts,
including running like a girl, spamming duanathar, screaming
"DELIVERANCE" and summoning people I don't like into a city where
they're enemied. But don't take my word for it just yet: First, I've
prepared a few scenes in while I demonstrate my guildmastering
prowess, with the aide of my faithful offsider and potential guild
secretary, Mr. Javi.
Scene 1: Rebellion
Mr Javi - Guildmaster Thakren, we're under attack! 3 occultists and
a pack of druids with PMS just declared war on our guild!
Thakren - Well, make sure you take lots of pictures. I'll be down
in Shastaan sunbaking if you need me.
Mr Javi - But Guildmaster, the druids, they're young and naked and
running around!
Thakren - Hmmmm... well Mr. Javi, a Trolls gotta do what a Trolls
gotta do. If it takes force to subdue them... well, its a risk I'm
going to have to take. Call the Shastaan relaxation therapist, and
tell her I'm not coming in today, we've got a rebellion on our hands

Scene 2: The Aftermath
Thakren - *sigh* Mr. Javi, you didn't tell me they were naked
DWARVEN druidesses.
Mr Javi - You never asked, Sir. Still, at least we calmed them down.
Thakren - Just wait until next month, they'll be back, and with a
vengeance. We've only succeeded in buying ourselves time. Whats the
news on the occultists?
Mr Javi - Well Sir, it seems that they've gone on an extermination
rampage. They somehow got into your garden, and exterminated your
entire weed crop, as well as Speedy the Sixth's "Special Feed"
Thakren - Damnit! Have they no respect for nature? This isn't just
another uprising. THIS IS WAR!
Mr Javi - Yes Sir.
Thakren - Oh, and Mr. Javi, if you can get in contact with my suppliers,
I'm going to need the entire garden replanted

Scene 3: The Confrontation
Mr Javi - *pant* Sir, your plan to import sixteen caravans of fresh
Mhojave weed worked perfectly. The occultists fell for the bait, we
managed to kill two of them, but their leader escaped.
Thakren - My... plan? Oh, yes, of course it worked, but what about
the weed? Is it alright?
Mr Javi - I'm afraid we couldn't save it Sir
Thakren - NOOOOOOOOOOOO! Curse you, gods, how much must I suffer?
Mr Javi - What about their leader, Sir? Our men are scouring the
area, but he seems to have gotten away.
Thakren - He can run, but he can't escape me! He shall pay for
all the suffering he has caused in kind. His rotting corpse shall
fertilise my garden!
Mr Javi - Erm, sir, you currently don't have a garden
Thakren - What did I tell you about interrupting me when I was
getting all melodramatic?
Mr Javi - Sorry Sir. I'll ready Speedy's battle armour at once.

Scene 4: The Showdown
Thakren - Hah! You might have escaped my worthless apprentices,
but your no match for me! Speedy, seal the exits... he's not
getting away this time.
Moose - *BELLOW* *SNORT*
Thakren - Is that all you have to say for yourself? Then DIE!
Moose and Knight battle for what seems to be an eternity, neither
one gaining the upper hand, yet neither one willing to leave the
field while their enemy yet breathes. Realising how truly deadly
his opponent is, Thakren is forced to play his wild card.
Thakren - Speedy, it is time. Reveal your true form!
The fluttering of wings now silenced echoes, as the feathers of
a falcon fall from our Hero's faithful pet, revealing the natural
enemy of the Moose: The Fire-Breathing Penguin.
Moose - *TERRIFIED BELLOW* *TERRIFIED SNORT* Thats abusing a bug
you know! I'm logging all of this!
But the battle is over before it is begun, and soon, all that
is left is Moose-shaped bones, and a bloated penguin. Achaea's
most heroic guildmaster has triumphed over adversity, and though
he has lost much, he will return to fight another day, for that
is what true heroes (and Alzheimers patients who think they're
true heroes) do.

Penned by my hand on the 22nd of Miraman, in the year 260 AF.