Achaean News
Expressing interest in Reckoning Candidacy (again)
Written by: Tesha Young
Date: Wednesday, April 16th, 2025
Addressed to: the dragon Yudhishthira
Yudhisthira,
Hi! Hello. I am glad your attention is drawn to the news boards, if only to acknowledge Gerald's failure. I am very sorry to hear about the sudden lapse in consciousness that very clearly explains and justifies your total lack of acknowledgement the last time I addressed you. Since I am sure my last missive declaring intent to serve as Reckoning Candidate against the Swamp Witch went missing, I thought I'd send a reminder.
I would like to reiterate my interest in Reckoning to join the Conclave. I believe I am of greater merit, and I am far more capable than Gerald. You'll notice I'm also far more willing to take risks to achieve great things, or to lose great things. I prefer focusing on the achieving great things part, myself. The latter only happens sometimes, and if you average out the occurances over the last ten minutes, it hasn't happened at all. Let us focus solely on the last ten minutes rather than anything prior.
In addition, I am the world's current foremost expert on time magic. Please see my list of qualifications attached below.
Eagerly awaiting your response,
Tesha Young
...
...
...
~~~ MAGIC EXPERIENCE ~~~
A. TIME MAGIC
- Foremost expert in time magic, employing the use of the retardation vibration to slow time in local areas.
- World's top teacher of time magic via "Die Until You Learn" (DUYL) protocol.
- Invented combat tutoring protocol similar to Evil's Truths but called different without getting in trouble.
- Discoverer of the relationship between boring lectures and the sensation of time dilation.
- Successfully wielded the powers of time magic in 7,438* engagements. *ish
- Claimed 'one minute' and followed through two years later, further evidence of time magic mastery.
- Skilfully wielded time magic within Oniar Estate to such a powerful and localized degree that a door in Oniar ceased to be.
B. ELEMENTAL AND PORTAL MAGIC
- Discovered a method to create a portal from Mount Nicator to the Crossing.
- One of the first million inhabitants of Sapience to earn Elemental Lord
- Received the gift of the Dragon Soul prior to the 200th birthday.
- Capable of wielding elemental magic on purpose.
- Occasionally casts spells outside of retardation vibration (other than embedding retardation).
- Discoverer of a method to magically angel beckon people from Mhaldor to Meropis.
- Discoverer of a method of trans-planar magical transportation utilizing son
ic portals.
C. RITUAL AND EXORCISM MAGIC
- Developed and performed an exorcism ritual comprised of striking Mezghar in the head with a pendulum while chanting.
- Banished daemonic forces including the renowned serpent Yuthka to free imprisoned oracles.
- Developed a method to have a wish come true in the wish-hating land of Annwyn.
- Discoverer of the fabled land of Nnywna.
- Assistant to the assistant of the Lady of the Crossing, Tesha, Halos, who researched the Staff of Nicator.
- Discoverer of modern Tsol'teth resistance to the fabled Staff of Nicator.
D. MAGICAL INNOVATIONS AND RESEARCH
- Created a sea of Divine-imbued eye sigils within Al Qalat.
- Successfully assisted Silas' efforts to divert blame for the above onto Kard.
- Created and propagated the use of memory sandwiches to transmit memories between fellow adventurers.
- Refined three signet ring pieces into a piece for Suremekh'neina.
- Successfully spelled Suremekh'neina.
- Determined the mystical link between humgii poop (hereafter refered to as 'feces') and the sea floor.
~~~ COMBAT EXPERIENCE ~~~
A. BATTLEFIELD CONFRONTATION
- Triumphed over the guardian of Sevet's Reckoning, Ra'mah.
- Triumphed over the guardian of Maim's Reckoning, Patrick.
- Triumphed over Chellen, the pinnacle of bureaucracy.
- Successfully spelled bureaucracy.
- Defeated Andalf Ereldon in single combat with the help of twelve others.
- Stayed awake during the entire voyage it took to arrive at the above.
- Successfully led two (2) engagements in which BOTH sides agreed the sides were fair and balanced.
- Successfully led seven hundred and ninety-seven (797) engagements in which at least one side disagreed.
B. TOURNAMENTS AND DUELS
- Victoriously represented the Ivory Mark in a battle against Quisalis Hirst amidst the discovery of the Den of the Quisalis.
- Tied for 4th in the Year 650 contests.
- Placed 2nd in the Year 700 contests.
- Victor of the Year 750 XP event and Foozle.
- Overall victor of the Year 750 Championship Games, claiming victory by the widest point margin in recent history.
- Acted as top-ranked combatant throughout year 972 while Farrah was napping.
- Heroically condemned fifty souls to eternal damnation.
- ... the above is a good thing, okay.
- Heroically ripped five hundred souls from their hosts.
- ... so is that.
C. LEGENDARY SLAYINGS AND FEATS
- Defeated Jhui in at least two duels without cheating.
- Defeated Jhui in at least ten duels while cheating.
- Defeated Tanris in five engagements of single combat whilst he happened to be engaged in single combat with six other people.
- Slew the Ur'Vampires Asztrik, Gerzson, Prioska, Zigana before they got stronger.
- Slayer of the vampiress Belladonna.
- Resisted the allure of Belladonna's naughty harem.
- Defeated Fafnir.
- Defeated Jeramun, Flame of the World amidst history's greatest game of tag.
D. TACTICAL LEADERSHIP AND ADAPTATION
- Preserved the Dragon Race's honour by disrupting Magister Dominar's vile plans without wearing the gross uniform.
- Adapted to shifting Magi combat strategies three times.
- ... utilized professional time magic to accommodate difficulty with the above.
- Survived an assassination attempt that occurred during this writing.
- Woke Achilles from month-long meditation.
- Coordinated an eight-person cataclysm in Nishnatoba by maki--gently encouraging they follow my orders in a timely fashion.
- Consistently partnered with a guardian angel from Celestia to secure victory in fierce engagements.
- Developed significant rapport in the above feat without knowing the angel's name.
~~~ CULTURAL EXPERIENCE ~~~
A. GOVERNANCE AND RELIGIOUS LEADERSHIP
- Prime candidate for the role of Patron of Cyrene following the Smith's departure from the role.
- Founding member of Targossas.
- Founding member of the Faith Recusant.
- Served as Judicator of Targossas on four separate occasions.
- Served as Lumarch of Targossas.
- Was appointed to the above rank on purpose.
- Former Aarashi Shamshir of the Aarash Kheyr.
- Served as inaugural Minister of Cultural Affairs of Targossas.
- Successfully renamed Minister of Cultural Affairs to MOCA, which is objectively adorable.
- Led outreach efforts to convert once-enemies into now-allies and often later-enemies.
- Served as Guardian of the Blades in the Dawnblade House.
- Worked with Battlemaster Thorge to secure dawnblades for the Dawnblades.
- Entrusted with negotiating authority on behalf of the Earthmother by the Epopt of Wintertide.
- Earned the Earthmother's private guidance and counsel.
- Voted in like, four elections and referendums.
- Served as a secret and confidential source of the Empire Examiner.
- Initiated the Burning Crusade tradition of Targossas.
B. ARTISTIC AND FASHION CONTRIBUTIONS
- Renowned designer of feminine clothing.
- Lead fas
hion designer for Deucalion, the Righteous Fire.
- Successfully designed objectively adorable socks with puppy embroidery that survive being worn by the Righteous Fire.
- Requested by the Tsol'teth to serve as a role model for their greatness through weird neck fluid.
- Determined to be over-qualified for the above, risking in instability.
- Author and performer of the song "Sothantos oh Sothantos".
- Creator of the game "Dungeons and Dala'myrr".
- Paid for the creation of the game "New Dawn".
- Influenced the popularity of hair ribbons being worn in combat.
C. EVENT ORGANIZATION AND EDUCATION
- Hosted the inaugural Festival of the Dawn.
- Led the emergency debate team, Team Retardation, in the World's Fair Great Debate
- Successfully taught a Cyrenian to kill someone.
- Provided behavioral correction services to an Eleusian Troll.
- Served as Head Assistant to the Assistant of the Lady of the Crossing.
- Utilized research provided by the Assistant of the Lady of the Crossing in a risky gamble with the Staff of Nicator.
- Assisted Halos in crafting the EVENT PLANNER'S NOT-LOOKBOOK.
D. DIPLOMATIC AND SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
- Provided numerous sermons and speeches in which fewer than ten percent of the audience fell asleep or drifted from the realms.
- Inspired faith and lifted spirits of the weary.
- Offered skilled marriage counseling to Silas and Sothantos.
- Successfully escaped marriage counseling sessions.
- Skilled at developing warm rapport and lasting friendships.
- Successfully ensured Silas never swore during meetings he was absent from.
~~~ OTHER RELATED EXPERIENCE ~~~
A. EXPLORATION, NAVIGATION, AND INVENTION
- Discoverer of the Meatbolm (the building blocks of the world)
- Witnessed the cleaving of the River Zaphar to forge the Silverveil.
- Tried very hard to retrieve the Sword of Dunamis.
- First to notice the permanent degradation of the door in Oniar Estate.
- Devised efficient methods of searching for hidden tanks in Targossas.
- Discoverer of the secret land of Nnywna.
B. TRAINING, MENTORSHIP, AND PUBLIC SPEAKING
- Qualified mentor to proteges Lumine, Giles, Raspbeary, Hucklebeary, and Pupcake.
- Trained bear and wolf cubs to perform in a play.
- Excelled as a public speaker.
- Contributed to raising two children who successfully lived to see their 18th birthday.
- Found two children after forgetting where they were for 18 years.
- Created a novice game in Targossas in which novice legs are broken to facilitate tumble races to be gambled on.
C. UNORTHODOX ADVENTURES AND MISCELLANEOUS FEATS
- Expert at falling while ice skating on Muurn Lake with Sothantos.
- Served as Captain of the Nirvana.
- Served as Head Assistant to the Captain of the Nirvana.
- Mastermind behind the Greatest Heist of the Sixth Century.
- Lobbied against the Unfair Taxation Act Dawnlord Sothantos tried to pass during Fool's Breath.
- Retained sanity despite city-wide efforts to persuade this writer the above did not happen.
- Specialist at flag retrieval services in Capture-The-Flag events, earning Divine gratitude from the Earthmother. ... sometimes.
- Determined to be qualified to be entrusted with ancient relics upon showcasing remedial knowledge of Seleucarian history.
- Able to sometimes and eventually learn and self-improve after making mistakes.
- Skilfully led the crew of the Nirvana to defeat a tier-four threat seamonster in a Seastrider.
- Miraculously led survival efforts for a crew an Eleusian Navy Galley destroyed by a tier-seven threat known as the 'That's Not A Normal Picaroon'.
- Skilled at petting dogs.
Penned by my hand on the 16th of Miraman, in the year 973 AF.
Expressing interest in Reckoning Candidacy (again)
Written by: Tesha Young
Date: Wednesday, April 16th, 2025
Addressed to: the dragon Yudhishthira
Yudhisthira,
Hi! Hello. I am glad your attention is drawn to the news boards, if only to acknowledge Gerald's failure. I am very sorry to hear about the sudden lapse in consciousness that very clearly explains and justifies your total lack of acknowledgement the last time I addressed you. Since I am sure my last missive declaring intent to serve as Reckoning Candidate against the Swamp Witch went missing, I thought I'd send a reminder.
I would like to reiterate my interest in Reckoning to join the Conclave. I believe I am of greater merit, and I am far more capable than Gerald. You'll notice I'm also far more willing to take risks to achieve great things, or to lose great things. I prefer focusing on the achieving great things part, myself. The latter only happens sometimes, and if you average out the occurances over the last ten minutes, it hasn't happened at all. Let us focus solely on the last ten minutes rather than anything prior.
In addition, I am the world's current foremost expert on time magic. Please see my list of qualifications attached below.
Eagerly awaiting your response,
Tesha Young
...
...
...
~~~ MAGIC EXPERIENCE ~~~
A. TIME MAGIC
- Foremost expert in time magic, employing the use of the retardation vibration to slow time in local areas.
- World's top teacher of time magic via "Die Until You Learn" (DUYL) protocol.
- Invented combat tutoring protocol similar to Evil's Truths but called different without getting in trouble.
- Discoverer of the relationship between boring lectures and the sensation of time dilation.
- Successfully wielded the powers of time magic in 7,438* engagements. *ish
- Claimed 'one minute' and followed through two years later, further evidence of time magic mastery.
- Skilfully wielded time magic within Oniar Estate to such a powerful and localized degree that a door in Oniar ceased to be.
B. ELEMENTAL AND PORTAL MAGIC
- Discovered a method to create a portal from Mount Nicator to the Crossing.
- One of the first million inhabitants of Sapience to earn Elemental Lord
- Received the gift of the Dragon Soul prior to the 200th birthday.
- Capable of wielding elemental magic on purpose.
- Occasionally casts spells outside of retardation vibration (other than embedding retardation).
- Discoverer of a method to magically angel beckon people from Mhaldor to Meropis.
- Discoverer of a method of trans-planar magical transportation utilizing son
ic portals.
C. RITUAL AND EXORCISM MAGIC
- Developed and performed an exorcism ritual comprised of striking Mezghar in the head with a pendulum while chanting.
- Banished daemonic forces including the renowned serpent Yuthka to free imprisoned oracles.
- Developed a method to have a wish come true in the wish-hating land of Annwyn.
- Discoverer of the fabled land of Nnywna.
- Assistant to the assistant of the Lady of the Crossing, Tesha, Halos, who researched the Staff of Nicator.
- Discoverer of modern Tsol'teth resistance to the fabled Staff of Nicator.
D. MAGICAL INNOVATIONS AND RESEARCH
- Created a sea of Divine-imbued eye sigils within Al Qalat.
- Successfully assisted Silas' efforts to divert blame for the above onto Kard.
- Created and propagated the use of memory sandwiches to transmit memories between fellow adventurers.
- Refined three signet ring pieces into a piece for Suremekh'neina.
- Successfully spelled Suremekh'neina.
- Determined the mystical link between humgii poop (hereafter refered to as 'feces') and the sea floor.
~~~ COMBAT EXPERIENCE ~~~
A. BATTLEFIELD CONFRONTATION
- Triumphed over the guardian of Sevet's Reckoning, Ra'mah.
- Triumphed over the guardian of Maim's Reckoning, Patrick.
- Triumphed over Chellen, the pinnacle of bureaucracy.
- Successfully spelled bureaucracy.
- Defeated Andalf Ereldon in single combat with the help of twelve others.
- Stayed awake during the entire voyage it took to arrive at the above.
- Successfully led two (2) engagements in which BOTH sides agreed the sides were fair and balanced.
- Successfully led seven hundred and ninety-seven (797) engagements in which at least one side disagreed.
B. TOURNAMENTS AND DUELS
- Victoriously represented the Ivory Mark in a battle against Quisalis Hirst amidst the discovery of the Den of the Quisalis.
- Tied for 4th in the Year 650 contests.
- Placed 2nd in the Year 700 contests.
- Victor of the Year 750 XP event and Foozle.
- Overall victor of the Year 750 Championship Games, claiming victory by the widest point margin in recent history.
- Acted as top-ranked combatant throughout year 972 while Farrah was napping.
- Heroically condemned fifty souls to eternal damnation.
- ... the above is a good thing, okay.
- Heroically ripped five hundred souls from their hosts.
- ... so is that.
C. LEGENDARY SLAYINGS AND FEATS
- Defeated Jhui in at least two duels without cheating.
- Defeated Jhui in at least ten duels while cheating.
- Defeated Tanris in five engagements of single combat whilst he happened to be engaged in single combat with six other people.
- Slew the Ur'Vampires Asztrik, Gerzson, Prioska, Zigana before they got stronger.
- Slayer of the vampiress Belladonna.
- Resisted the allure of Belladonna's naughty harem.
- Defeated Fafnir.
- Defeated Jeramun, Flame of the World amidst history's greatest game of tag.
D. TACTICAL LEADERSHIP AND ADAPTATION
- Preserved the Dragon Race's honour by disrupting Magister Dominar's vile plans without wearing the gross uniform.
- Adapted to shifting Magi combat strategies three times.
- ... utilized professional time magic to accommodate difficulty with the above.
- Survived an assassination attempt that occurred during this writing.
- Woke Achilles from month-long meditation.
- Coordinated an eight-person cataclysm in Nishnatoba by maki--gently encouraging they follow my orders in a timely fashion.
- Consistently partnered with a guardian angel from Celestia to secure victory in fierce engagements.
- Developed significant rapport in the above feat without knowing the angel's name.
~~~ CULTURAL EXPERIENCE ~~~
A. GOVERNANCE AND RELIGIOUS LEADERSHIP
- Prime candidate for the role of Patron of Cyrene following the Smith's departure from the role.
- Founding member of Targossas.
- Founding member of the Faith Recusant.
- Served as Judicator of Targossas on four separate occasions.
- Served as Lumarch of Targossas.
- Was appointed to the above rank on purpose.
- Former Aarashi Shamshir of the Aarash Kheyr.
- Served as inaugural Minister of Cultural Affairs of Targossas.
- Successfully renamed Minister of Cultural Affairs to MOCA, which is objectively adorable.
- Led outreach efforts to convert once-enemies into now-allies and often later-enemies.
- Served as Guardian of the Blades in the Dawnblade House.
- Worked with Battlemaster Thorge to secure dawnblades for the Dawnblades.
- Entrusted with negotiating authority on behalf of the Earthmother by the Epopt of Wintertide.
- Earned the Earthmother's private guidance and counsel.
- Voted in like, four elections and referendums.
- Served as a secret and confidential source of the Empire Examiner.
- Initiated the Burning Crusade tradition of Targossas.
B. ARTISTIC AND FASHION CONTRIBUTIONS
- Renowned designer of feminine clothing.
- Lead fas
hion designer for Deucalion, the Righteous Fire.
- Successfully designed objectively adorable socks with puppy embroidery that survive being worn by the Righteous Fire.
- Requested by the Tsol'teth to serve as a role model for their greatness through weird neck fluid.
- Determined to be over-qualified for the above, risking in instability.
- Author and performer of the song "Sothantos oh Sothantos".
- Creator of the game "Dungeons and Dala'myrr".
- Paid for the creation of the game "New Dawn".
- Influenced the popularity of hair ribbons being worn in combat.
C. EVENT ORGANIZATION AND EDUCATION
- Hosted the inaugural Festival of the Dawn.
- Led the emergency debate team, Team Retardation, in the World's Fair Great Debate
- Successfully taught a Cyrenian to kill someone.
- Provided behavioral correction services to an Eleusian Troll.
- Served as Head Assistant to the Assistant of the Lady of the Crossing.
- Utilized research provided by the Assistant of the Lady of the Crossing in a risky gamble with the Staff of Nicator.
- Assisted Halos in crafting the EVENT PLANNER'S NOT-LOOKBOOK.
D. DIPLOMATIC AND SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
- Provided numerous sermons and speeches in which fewer than ten percent of the audience fell asleep or drifted from the realms.
- Inspired faith and lifted spirits of the weary.
- Offered skilled marriage counseling to Silas and Sothantos.
- Successfully escaped marriage counseling sessions.
- Skilled at developing warm rapport and lasting friendships.
- Successfully ensured Silas never swore during meetings he was absent from.
~~~ OTHER RELATED EXPERIENCE ~~~
A. EXPLORATION, NAVIGATION, AND INVENTION
- Discoverer of the Meatbolm (the building blocks of the world)
- Witnessed the cleaving of the River Zaphar to forge the Silverveil.
- Tried very hard to retrieve the Sword of Dunamis.
- First to notice the permanent degradation of the door in Oniar Estate.
- Devised efficient methods of searching for hidden tanks in Targossas.
- Discoverer of the secret land of Nnywna.
B. TRAINING, MENTORSHIP, AND PUBLIC SPEAKING
- Qualified mentor to proteges Lumine, Giles, Raspbeary, Hucklebeary, and Pupcake.
- Trained bear and wolf cubs to perform in a play.
- Excelled as a public speaker.
- Contributed to raising two children who successfully lived to see their 18th birthday.
- Found two children after forgetting where they were for 18 years.
- Created a novice game in Targossas in which novice legs are broken to facilitate tumble races to be gambled on.
C. UNORTHODOX ADVENTURES AND MISCELLANEOUS FEATS
- Expert at falling while ice skating on Muurn Lake with Sothantos.
- Served as Captain of the Nirvana.
- Served as Head Assistant to the Captain of the Nirvana.
- Mastermind behind the Greatest Heist of the Sixth Century.
- Lobbied against the Unfair Taxation Act Dawnlord Sothantos tried to pass during Fool's Breath.
- Retained sanity despite city-wide efforts to persuade this writer the above did not happen.
- Specialist at flag retrieval services in Capture-The-Flag events, earning Divine gratitude from the Earthmother. ... sometimes.
- Determined to be qualified to be entrusted with ancient relics upon showcasing remedial knowledge of Seleucarian history.
- Able to sometimes and eventually learn and self-improve after making mistakes.
- Skilfully led the crew of the Nirvana to defeat a tier-four threat seamonster in a Seastrider.
- Miraculously led survival efforts for a crew an Eleusian Navy Galley destroyed by a tier-seven threat known as the 'That's Not A Normal Picaroon'.
- Skilled at petting dogs.
Penned by my hand on the 16th of Miraman, in the year 973 AF.