Cyrene,

This posting comes far too late, but its contents must be known. I left Cyrene over twenty years ago, shortly after the last Black Wave. While I left on amicable terms, I had been exchanging information with the Tsol'teth throughout the crisis and was charged with treason once my letters surfaced. I should have written this then, if not before, but I was ashamed, fearful, and eager to leave those feelings behind me. I wish to do so now, not through avoidance, but by meeting it directly like an Aegean should. This is my account of my mistakes and a humble apology to my old home.

At the time, I was frustrated. I thought diplomacy would see a quicker return of our city, one that would save the most lives of those still trapped within the valley. Though I did not know then of their shadow vortex and their ability to eavesdrop on the surface world, I suspected them well-informed nonetheless, for we were terrible at keeping our secrets.

I thought that in approaching them I could, if not earn their trust, then at least gain some manner of insight that would prove useful. In truth, they had no need of me nor any desire to trust an outsider. Though they seemed to enjoy answering question about themselves, things which I gladly shared with the rest of the Resistance, they never offered anything substantial to the efforts of retrieving the City in return for my letters.

It is a testament to my stupidity that I kept at it, thinking always that it would be a matter of time until the poorly-thought gambit paid off. I should have informed our leaders of my activities, but I was afraid they would disapprove unless I could justify my actions with results. Ultimately, I hid my actions, I hid my failures, and when both came to light, I hid myself.

Cyrene, I am sorry. I put my ego above your safety and my curiosity above your well-being. Most painfully, I betrayed your trust and my honour along with it. Cyrene was good to me, and it was a mistake to think that sacrificing it for any kind of knowledge would be remotely worth it. These years alone have given me perspective, both of who I was and who I want to be. In the coming future, I wish to make amends through words and deeds and become a better woman for it. For now, I lower my head in shame, respect, and gratitude, and ask that you see me as I am.

In service,

Warbringer Shirszae Nynniaw

Penned by my hand on the 5th of Daedalan, in the year 822 AF.