I can't believe I reached another
This time I have turned fifty
I suppose I have to wear weird clothes
And say words like "neat" and "nifty"

I'll find a cane and creep about
Back bent and hobbled steps
I'll tie my hair back in a bun
And collect a million pets

I'll yell at youngsters running by
And mutter to myself
I'll make them sit and listen to me
Of when I was a younger elf

"Ah, the golden days" I'll frequently say
As I rock in a chair and ponder
I'll take long walks or visit with friends
Or sit in the shade up yonder

Oh to be fifty, I cannot believe
Am I really this old of a lady?
But I just think with a grin and a wink
I don't feel a day over eighty

Penned by my hand on the 16th of Miraman, in the year 375 AF.