Retardation destroys Ashen Advocates!
In a startling turn of events, the Sophists did not show for the third debate! But the hastily formed team Retardation offered to step up to the plate in debate!
Team Retardation vs Ashen Advocates – Polygamy, as exercised by the Fae.
Nissa, the Head Archivist of the Lucretian Athenaeum exclaims, “Since Team Ret has volunteered to argue for our topic, we shall begin with Emalyna’s opening statement. The floor is yours!”
Emalyna says in a sweet and innocent voice, “Polygamy as practiced by the Fae, promotes a group mentalality, equality amoungst their group and reproduction with the strongest males garnering the favours of more women.”
Emalyna says in a sweet and innocent voice, “With this, the men nor the women know who fathered the children so, all are equally protective and nurturing of the young, providing more than adequate care and tending.”
Emalyna says in a sweet and innocent voice, “This can also be seen in their defense of their homes and lands, working together to protect their combined interests.”
Nissa, the Head Archivist of the Lucretian Athenaeum says, “And time! Thank you Emalyna.”
Nissa, the Head Archivist of the Lucretian Athenaeum says, “Farrah of the Ashen Advocates, the floor is ready for your opening statement, when ready.”
Farrah says, “Marriage is about stability and mutual respect. Polygamy, as practiced by the Fae encompasses neither of these things.”
Farrah says, “The royal family of the Sidhe Court is there to rule, to lead its people, to keep order and promote justice and progress, as is any leadership of any society. It cannot achieve this purpose if it is internally at war with itself.”
Farrah says, “Yet, Oberions choice to take two wives has done nothing but destabilize the very ruling family of Annwyn.”
Farrah says, “Rhyannon banishes any who dares to attempt to share Oberion with her. Titania plots to overthrow and replace her, and so does Faylinn, the other prospective wife desperate for Oberions affections.”
Farrah says, “This is worse yet when there is a fountain of wishes to facilitate the internal war of wives.”
Farrah says, “Even if the wives do not plot against each other, their mutual animosity is harmful to the kingdom as a whole. The ruling class must present a unified front for the people to ensure continued faith in their reign. Any weakness in the ruling class will inspire doubt in the citizens, amplifying any civic discord already present in the kingdom.”
Farrah says, “But marriage is also about respect for ones partner. It is a bond of mutual benefit and satisfaction between willing partners.”
Farrah says, “This notion is thrown out the window when one partner takes additional wives against the will of the other.”
Farrah says, “You contend that polygamy promotes equality, but what it actualy promotes is patriarchy. Oberions wives clearly have little say in their circumstance. It is all about his pleasure, and not their desires.”
Farrah says, “As practiced by the Fae, it appears more the case that one male has multiple wives than the other way around. Thus, the father of any children is known, and there is no benefit of equal circumstances given to society as a whole, either.”
Farrah says, “Put simply, polygamy, as practiced by the Fae is not a practice that is beneficial to society. It is delightful only to Oberion.”
Nissa, the Head Archivist of the Lucretian Athenaeum says, “And that is time! Thank you, Farrah.”
Nissa, the Head Archivist of the Lucretian Athenaeum says, “Asani! It is now time for your secondary statement, when ready.”
Asani says in a measured, alto voice, “My opponent’s claims are rooted in beliefs about marriage that we, who generally live in societies less influenced by bloodline, are able to hold as a result of our differing ruling systems.”
Asani says in a measured, alto voice, “Polygamy, as a system, does not inherently bring harm to any of those involved. It’s been practiced within our own culture as well, most notably by Nicator, when Sapience was ruled by monarchies and royal families.”
Asani says in a measured, alto voice, “Nicator was married to several wives, and used his marriages to bring peace and stability to the Seluecarian Empire, through ensuring his line was continued and bringing together different kingdoms.”
Asani says in a measured, alto voice, “Seeing as it contributed to our own culture’s golden age, there’s little evidence to suggest that for the fae, for whom it’s significantly more ingrained, it will inherently have a different result.”
Asani says in a measured, alto voice, “Oberion, considering his status, would be able to use this system for the same purpose. For the fae, this is an ingrained part of their culture, and cultural institutions are often preserved due to providing stability to the culture they are a part of.”
Asani says in a measured, alto voice, “That said, I do not contend that Oberion himself has succeeded in this goal, but that is the failing of an indivudal, not the system. It would be equally fallacious to claim that Verrucht’s rule in Cyrene has proven democracy to be a complete failure.”
Asani says in a measured, alto voice, “I would remind my opponents that the topic is polygamy practiced by the fae, and not just by an individual in their society.”
Asani says in a measured, alto voice, “And indeed, this is better than the alternative, and a monogamous system would not prevent such plotting, and would make it worse, as one unwise as Oberion could easily end up divorcing and remarrying, tearing apart the marriages that hold his kingdom together.”
Asani says in a measured, alto voice, “Using moral arguments from a culture not dependent on such a system is flawed at best, and can lead to political instability and downfall at worst.”
Nissa, the Head Archivist of the Lucretian Athenaeum says, “And time! Thank you Asani.”
Nissa, the Head Archivist of the Lucretian Athenaeum says, “Sothantos, you may begin with your
secondary statements when you’re ready.”
Sothantos says, “The proposition has suggested that polygamy is a widespread part of fae culture. They have not raised any evidence that this is in fact a common practice in their realm.”
Sothantos says, “If polygamy were as widely practiced there as it is claimed, then surely Rhyannon, who would have been raised in this culture, would not hold such animosity towards Titania. Being raised in an environment that teaches the virtues of polygamy would have given her an open mind to sharing Oberion.”
Sothantos says, “The opposition has also brought up Nicator as a good example of polygamy. The topic is polygamy practiced by the fae.”
Sothantos says, “What evidence we do have shows clearly that polygamy, as practiced by the fae, simply does not work.”
Sothantos says, “The kingdoms led by each wife are tenuously united by the tenuous ties between angry partners. Plotting and scheming and murder are commonplace.”
Nissa, the Head Archivist of the Lucretian Athenaeum exclaims, “And time!”
Nissa, the Head Archivist of the Lucretian Athenaeum says, “Thank you, Sothantos.”
Nissa, the Head Archivist of the Lucretian Athenaeum says, “With the end of the secondary statements, we now begin the rebuttal phase.”
Nissa, the Head Archivist of the Lucretian Athenaeum says, “Jiraishin, the floor is yours, when ready.”
Jiraishin says with a harsh Western accent, “As Sothantos stated briefly, no examples can be easily found by an adventurer in Annwyn of Sidhe polygamy beyond Oberion.”
Jiraishin says with a harsh Western accent, “In fact, when I myself mentioned the debate topic of ‘polygamy as practiced by the Fae’ to the Sidhe delegation, -their- immediate thought was of the royal couple.”
Jiraishin says with a harsh Western accent, “So. We must consider the example at hand.”
Jiraishin says with a harsh Western accent, “Not merely a moral concern, but a great political one.”
Jiraishin says with a harsh Western accent, “The marriages of rulers bind polities together. Such is the case of Titania and Oberion, binding Sidhe Court to Dryad Garden.”
Jiraishin says with a harsh Western accent, “Now imagine if Titania is assassinated.”
Jiraishin says with a harsh Western accent, “Imagine the strife that would result.”
Jiraishin says with a harsh Western accent, “An inversion of the increased stability that was initially promised.”
Jiraishin says with a harsh Western accent, “-This- is what is created by the current situation of two wives at odds.”
Jiraishin says with a harsh Western accent, “Personal motives, political consequences.”
Jiraishin says with a harsh Western accent, “Made more dire by Sidhe magic and a well of wishes.”
Jiraishin says with a harsh Western accent, “It is not abstract matters of ‘equality’ or the strongest offspring from the maximum number of women at hand. It is the peace and stability of a land, the strength of diplomatic bonds, and the symbolism of rulers at odds.”
Nissa, the Head Archivist of the Lucretian Athenaeum says, “Time is up! Thank you Jiraishin.”
Nissa, the Head Archivist of the Lucretian Athenaeum says, “Tesha, you will be our final speaker this month. You may begin with your rebuttal when ready.”
Tesha says in a mellifluous voice, “The arguments of my dear citymates are based upon only a select few of the Fae: Rhyannon, Oberion, Titania, and Faylinn … of the fae…”
Gesturing grandly with both hands, Tesha flails her arms around in what she considers to be a persuasive manner.
Tesha says in a mellifluous voice, “While yes, they may be super suspicious, schemeing, silly, sinful, and seditious, this shows only part of the culture of the fae. Faylinn is clearly angry, and tenuous plots are rampant in the land of Annwyn.”
Pacing back and forth, Tesha forgets she holds a living vodun doll of Farrah in her hand, and shakes it around continuously as she speaks, completely oblivious to any effects this may have on Farrah.
Tesha screams in a mellifluous voice, “HOWEVER!”
Tesha says in a mellifluous voice, “They fail to acknowledge the OTHER fae. No! They suggest polygamy is NOT common practice, and that it does NOT work, and that it is rampant with jealousy, animosity, and political plots!”
Tesha says in a mellifluous voice, “It clearly does work, as there are nearly limitless fae. If it “doesn’t work”, how are they still able to reproduce?”
Sothantos gives Farrah a concerned look.
Tesha screams in a mellifluous voice, “HMMMMMM?!”
Tesha exclaims in a mellifluous voice, “Well do I have news for you!!”
Tesha says in a mellifluous voice, “I have adventured to meet Mirna during the time alloted for research.”
Tesha says in a mellifluous voice, “I have come to suspect Mirna ACTUALLY comes from the land of NYWNNA.”
Tesha says in a mellifluous voice, “In Nywnna, it is the women who rule! It is the women who are the patriarchy!”
Tesha says in a mellifluous voice, “…”
Tesha says in a mellifluous voice, “It is the women who are the matriarchy!”
Tesha says in a mellifluous voice, “If you inspect her name carefully, one might discover Mirna’s true identity. The secret she has possibly kept all these years!”
Tesha says in a mellifluous voice, “Not only is polygamy GREAT in her opinion, laughter is vital to the cause!”
Tesha says in a mellifluous voice, “It is clearly all based on laughter. Laughter is currency is Nywnna.”
Tesha nods her head, twice.
As Tesha squeezes the vodun doll, Farrah turns slightly blue, but obviously attempts to conceal it.
Tesha says in a mellifluous voice, “This is evidenced by her bodyguard asking for all of my laughter. Clearly there is no other reason for this, so the only logical conclusion is that it is a form of currency.”
Tesha says in a mellifluous voice, “Now how can a system rampant with jealousy and animosity and all these other negative things simultaneously be held up by the currency of laughter?”
Tesha says in a mellifluous voice, “The only possible conclusion is that there is no jealousy, or animosity, or any other negative thing. Polygamy is awesome, like Mirna would probably say.”
Jiraishin hides his face in his gauntleted hands, emitting faint choked noises.
Tesha says in a mellifluous voice, “In NYWNNA, everything is GREAT.”
Tesha leans down a little bit and lowers her voice to a stage-whisper, offering a hushed cadence while still remaining audible.
Tesha whispers in a mellifluous voice, “Is Mirna the secret identity of the queen of the Fae in Nywnna, the land of which is run by polygamy? Does she hail from a civilisation that hinges on laughter as a form of currency?”
Tesha exclaims in a mellifluous voice, “Maybe! We can only speculate. Naturally she would never admit to such a possibility, for that very fact may put her in danger!”
A smartly-dressed, tiny halfling child looks incredibly confused as he stares at Tesha.
Tesha says in a mellifluous voice, “All of this and more is CLEAR and IRREFUTABLE evidence that polygamy, as practiced by the fae, is great.”
Nissa, the Head Archivist of the Lucretian Athenaeum says, “And time! Thank you Tesha for those…final remarks.”
Tesha says in a mellifluous voice, “I rest my case.”
Jiraishin uncovers his face, staring at Tesha with a mixture of horror and what must be amusement.
Nissa, the Head Archivist of the Lucretian Athenaeum exclaims, “With that, our third debate round is over. Well done teams, please give them a round of applause!”
Nissa, the Head Archivist of the Lucretian Athenaeum says, “I will now begin tallying the final scores. Please give me a few moments as I examine my notes.”
Nissa, the Head Archivist of the Lucretian Athenaeum stares off to the sky for a moment, mumbling to herself while counting up the scores.
Nissa, the Head Archivist of the Lucretian Athenaeum exclaims, “Before I reveal this month’s winner, I want to thank Team Ret for stepping up to challenge the Ashen Advocates. Please give them a big round of applause for answering the call to action!”
Nissa, the Head Archivist of the Lucretian Athenaeum says, “With that said, I am pleased to announce…”
Nissa, the Head Archivist of the Lucretian Athenaeum exclaims, “Team Ret has taken this round! Congratulations!”
Nissa, the Head Archivist of the Lucretian Athenaeum says, “Thank you all for joining me and I hope to see you again at the finale. The Ashen Advocates will be squaring off against the Sophists of the Seat! The final topic will be, ‘The punishment of Khalas, in the wake of the War of Humanity, was fair and just.'”
Nissa, the Head Archivist of the Lucretian Athenaeum says, “Through random selection, Advocates will be in favour of the topic, while the Sophists will be opposed. Please take this time before the finale to prepare wisely.”