War and Fleece

Lord Adryn,

As you requested, here is the full report over the incidents of the last few years.

On the 14th of Ero, in the year 831 AF, the neighbouring city of Targossas declared war on the western city of Mhaldor. Casus belli was cited as a Divine curse on the individuals Tianondria al Qawi and Vasher from the Lord of Evil, Sartan. The reason for the curse, as I have gathered, was an incident of defiling sacred ground. Neither of the two directly participated, but one was the wife of a participant, and the other attempted to heal him.

Whatever the case, Mhaldor accepted the war declaration on the 15th of Lupar of the selfsame year. For two years thereafter, the great cities waged a brutal campaign against one another, with Mhaldor securing an early and significant lead in casualties and city destruction both.

On Aeguary of the following year, eight months in, Targossas secured what seemed to be a significant swing in the tides of war, butchering the Mhaldorians and setting off no less than three explosive charges within their city. For four months, it seemed as if Targossas was poised to not only recover, but well on its way to becoming the victor. Unfortunately for them, Mhaldor quickly recovered, and soon the best the Dawnspear could manage was to hold their ground. On their good days, they looked to be about even with Mhaldor’s bloodthirst. On their off days, they were butchered like lambs to the slaughter by the western zealots.

From here, conditions only deteriorated for our neighbours. When the war ended in Lupar of 833, Mhaldor’s victory was decisive and undeniable. The God of Evil took this chance to curse Targossas with some sort of enchanted monument, though it only lasted a few months before Lady Aurora, the Lightbringer, tossed it back West in annoyance, having only tolerated it as long as She did as some form of respect for mortal affairs.

At any rate, none of this is particularly relevant to your query, my Lord. During the war, Pandora, the Wayward Heir – who seems to lack any of the aforementioned respect for mortal affairs – ran a betting book on the outcome of the war. Most curiously, it appears that the book was not only a massive financial failure, but it bankrupted Her, which I certainly did not believe possible. In a rather public display, we watched Her learn that the Lord Prospero does not allow for rampant creation of wealth, even by His Divine siblings.

To solve her problems of solubility, She declared that She would hold the first ‘Wayward Fair and Wares,’ where She would auction off some of the items in Her (presumably vast) collection. This is where we come in.

On Miraman of this year, your appointed servant was to arrive at the first of these three auctions and bid on your behalf for any useful or interesting items. Unfortunately, the ill-educated knave got lost and, as I found out this morning, found himself in Bitterfork instead of the Sangre Plains. He spent his time until now finding his way back to us, though I suspect he used his travel expenses to drink and partake in revelry. This is the reason no items were acquired for your grand estate.

While it is likely useless now, I compiled a list of the auctioned items for your curiosity or if you wish us to contact any of the winners to inquire about resale:

• Three Pandoran Tickets: one to turn an enemy of the winner’s choosing into a toad, one for the Wayward Heir’s assistance in event planning, and one to spend a day with Her in any manner the winner chooses. Sold to Ploutos for 800,000 gold, Lyndee for 5,100,000 gold, and Akri for 4,000,000 gold, respectively.
• One scrying parallelopipedon: function unknown, relic from a distant plane. Sold to Antonius for 3,300,000 gold.
• One crystalline egg: presumed to be Kx’Krah, though we have no records of their reproductive habits. Sold to Endryn for 1,500,000 gold
• One portrait of the Wayward Heir’s family. Sold to Morthif for 3,500,000 gold.
• One burning ice cube from another distant plane. Sold to Yen for 8,000,000 gold
• One scabbard to the sword ‘Two Suns.’ Sold to Taryius for 2,000,000 gold.
• One magpie figurehead. Sold to Elyon for 2,000,000 gold.
• One anklet of Pandora: purported to transport the user to either the Lady Pandora or Her temple. Sold to Tesha for 7,500,000 gold.
• The Warhorn of Aegis: stolen by the Goddess as some kind of prank, it seems. Sold to Keorin for 20,500,000 gold.
• One light-snuffing candle. Sold to Taryius for 5,300,00 gold.
• One empty door frame: purported to allow travel to distant worlds. Sold to Yen for 10,000,000 gold.
• One ring of Divine Justice, a token of the late Lady Miramar. Sold to Lyndee for 15,000,000 gold.
• War’s Pride, a sword crafted by the late Lord Matsuhama for Lady Pandora’s training as a youth. Sold to Seragorn for 22,000,000 gold.
• Admittance into Lady Pandora’s Order. Sold to Pathers for 5,000,000 gold.

With great reverence,
your most loyal servant.